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Post by carnackiArdent on Jan 6, 2016 5:41:27 GMT
Okay, because I am terrible and Skype gave me ideas, here are characters three and four. Once again, feedback is appreciated!
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Post by madandy on Jan 7, 2016 0:37:58 GMT
Okay, due to going through something of an ordeal over the past few days, I've only managed to get one application done, and it's sort of rushed, but oh well, here it is
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Cutie Patoot
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Dec 14, 2018 23:18:51 GMT
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Post by YourWaifu on Jan 7, 2016 1:38:53 GMT
Here's my third app! I'm going to submit a few more, but I just got some inspiration for this one and I wanted to submit it.
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Post by SuperVaderMan on Jan 7, 2016 2:19:55 GMT
Yesss, Isabelle! Even if I don't get in, it'd be great to see her in there
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Nov 22, 2023 15:48:27 GMT
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Post by Slytherclaw on Jan 7, 2016 4:31:54 GMT
Had a chance to go through all the apps and do a quick read through, but it's late and I want to forumulate everything and type it up. I'll have actually feedback up tomorrow afternoon!
Some quick overall comments: Make sure you aren't knocking down social/atypical skills on your starter's backgrounds to just boost the typical combat skills and nothing else. I look down heavily on that, tbh. Make sure the characters you've submitted are from before the middle of their series! I have a handful of characters I'm going to have to reject just because this rule wasn't followed. If there is a long series of books, being after the /first book/ isn't a big deal, but characters who are from /after/ their respective series absolutely break this rule. If your character originates from a point where their play is going to spoil important details from a series for people who haven't experienced it, I'm going to have to reject it as well. If you need a spoiler warning in your character's bio, that's...probably a bad sign.
Weapons are 2k Simple, 4k Fine, Free for Crude, if you missed that.
Make sure you are answering the following questions: Where in the series does this character originate in terms of timeline? What is their tattoo and where is it?
Finally, my apologies, but given that this is a PBP text game, I /have/ to require that all applicants be capable of writing a solid, correct post in terms of grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. It's nothing personal if that isn't something you can manage, but I can't handle running a text based game if those requirements aren't met.
A swordsman whose starter/soul is reduced to Honedge=Sword is kind of lame, and I noticed a few of those. Your choice if you want to keep that, but the reason weapons are affordable/cheap was explicitly so that I wouldn't end up with characters like that for the sake of making sure a swordsman had their sword, and I'm not a particularly big fan unless you can absolutely back up why their literal soul is a sword beyond 'they use one', wherever that one came from.
Finally, you should only have 2 adept skills at level three, barring your level three feature being something that grants you additional edges. Make sure your build is legal, guys. x3
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Feb 25, 2017 16:52:45 GMT
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Post by Mirveka on Jan 7, 2016 9:14:50 GMT
is skype group is open now? Can i join? My skype user is Mirveka. What do you consider as social/atypical skills?
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Dec 19, 2017 19:46:03 GMT
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Post by Llyarden on Jan 7, 2016 11:56:54 GMT
Make sure the characters you've submitted are from before the middle of their series! I have a handful of characters I'm going to have to reject just because this rule wasn't followed. If there is a long series of books, being after the /first book/ isn't a big deal, but characters who are from /after/ their respective series absolutely break this rule. If your character originates from a point where their play is going to spoil important details from a series for people who haven't experienced it, I'm going to have to reject it as well. If you need a spoiler warning in your character's bio, that's...probably a bad sign. [...] Where in the series does this character originate in terms of timeline? Actually, a question on this. If we're entering supporting characters rather than the main characters in the series, is it supposed to be from before the end of the entire series or before the end of our specific character's arc?
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Post by Breakthelevee on Jan 7, 2016 12:43:04 GMT
Yeah, valid point about Honedge being kind of a cop out XD I changed it out, used the last of my money to buy a simple weapon, and bam Falchion weakened by dimensional travel.
Resisted the urge to go with any sort of Dragon for the starter, and realized that Chespin with its being based on a knight fits surprisingly better than most things
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Post by Seya on Jan 7, 2016 14:05:09 GMT
All three of my apps in this post have been updated, making two of them younger/earlier in their stories just in case. Also had forgotten skill backgrounds on two of their starters.
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Post by Slytherclaw on Jan 7, 2016 16:00:29 GMT
As far as side characters, use your best judgement in terms of what would actively spoil someones enjoyment of the series, mostly. If they have a huge revelation or twist, probably pick them before that. If they're a one off whose history isn't particularly secret, twisty, etc, it's fine to pick them at the end of their short story as long as that wouldn't spoil the main story.
If a character spoils by existing, it's probably case by case. Haku from Naruto as a boy, not a big spoiler. Say... the last character introduced in the ending cutscene of tales of symphonia? Probably spoilertastic unless it's pulled off well.
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Post by SuperVaderMan on Jan 7, 2016 16:50:15 GMT
I dropped Rogue off Waluigi in favor of Provocateur. Now he'll mostly boo and jeer from the sidelines instead of being in the thick of fights, as it should be! I made all the appropriate skill changes too, and added just a little bit to his Goals/Obsessions. I think his application checks out, then. The Mario-verse doesn't really have any continuity, so I don't have to worry about that. It doesn't matter when he comes from, he's just Waluigi!
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Post by CWStra on Jan 7, 2016 17:30:17 GMT
Oh noes! Now we're in competition for Provocateur and the color purple, Vader!
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Post by SuperVaderMan on Jan 7, 2016 17:35:02 GMT
Hmm, you're right. But there is only one Wa, so we might be safe!
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Post by DataNinja on Jan 7, 2016 17:40:33 GMT
But there can be only one Luigi!
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Post by SuperVaderMan on Jan 7, 2016 19:04:33 GMT
Wah
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Post by Major on Jan 7, 2016 19:18:48 GMT
Well doesn't look like I have much time, but glancing over things you know I don't think my idea will be on your list but I'll ask just in case.
Know Akame Ga Kill?
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Post by Slytherclaw on Jan 7, 2016 19:35:31 GMT
I do not recognize that name, no.
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Post by Mirveka on Jan 7, 2016 19:40:23 GMT
I change one of my entries a bit (added more reasoning). I would like you see it and say what do you think about it. Can you publish list of peoples disqualified for bad grammar and spelling? If I was one of them I would definitely like to know in advance.
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Post by carnackiArdent on Jan 7, 2016 23:40:44 GMT
Okay, Jack has been shifted back in his timeline - he's now from just previous to the movie. Of course, this means he can't have the Soul Robber, so he's just got a spooky branch for a Crude Weapon. (The massive amounts of money this frees up have been redistributed accordingly.) EDIT: Also, Neville has a wishlist now, and Luna actually has an inventory, which I'd neglected to do earlier.
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Post by Slytherclaw on Jan 8, 2016 0:31:48 GMT
The Mega Feedback Post!
Familiar Characters[These characters are ones I'm very, very familiar with. I've got a good feel for them and can judge their entries. Additional helpers are welcome to make comments regarding them, though, if something stands out!]- Luigi - This is a pretty solid character. I like that you sourced him to a specific game and connected his starter and build to that particular source, too.
- George Weasley - Also a pretty solid character build. I like the way you refluffed the crafting features and their products! The starter is a nice choice. I also appreciate that you revamped the character for a younger age! That being said, you need to revamp your scrap count--your leftover starting scrap can only be of the [Food] or [Build] categories.
- Sokka - Good build choices, and his equipment and starter choices are great! I also appreciate that this character has been revamped as well to be a bit earlier in his story. I think he'd be fun to see develop, and I laughed a little at chef being on his potential level up list!
- Tom Riddle - Good character build, though we've already discussed our mutual concerns about taskmaster. I'm fond the choice you made in regards to his start point, though, and the refluff of a luck incense.
- Connie - I'm fond of this character, but I'm struggling with it. I'm not a fan of swordsman=Honedge, and I would have preferred to have seen something more about her personality for her actual soul than a sword, particularly when she only just started learning how to use one according to the time she was pulled. I also would have preferred that she had more than a single class, since, again, she only just started learning to use a sword at this point. I do think that skirmisher was a good choice, though. However, the biggest problem with this application, and I really hate to say it, is that I find proper english really important for a pbp game. If I were looking for real time players over voice, I wouldn't care as much, but given that text is the main form that this game is run in, I don't think I can handle the difficulty with English that is shown in this application.
- Sasuke Uchiha - The build is...well, it's flawed mechanically--this character shouldn't have three adept skills at level 3. I think I disagree with fire bringer v spark master, since lightning is his inherent chakra and he uses it pretty heavily at the point he was drawn from, but that's more of a personal choice. What doesn't make sense to me, though, is why a ninja character has pathetic sneak and no investment in anything like perception, intuition, guile, etc. Finally, this character is huge violator of the spoiler clause. You're welcome to submit a version of this character from an earlier point in his series, but if your /bio/ involves major spoilers about the motives and death of a huge character in the series, that's not something I can allow. You also failed to remove your username from the sheet.
- Jason Todd - I like the build logic. This is a pretty solid character. My only real comment is that I'm surprised there wasn't an acrobatics from a former robin, but your logic makes sense and there's only so much you can do at level 3. x3
- Taylor Hebert - Like the character, and the design is alright for what you can do with her. Inventory is a problem, though. You can only pick [Food] or [Build] scrap. I'd more suggest just working on an actual inventory. There's also the concern that you require a spoiler notice in your bio--at that point, I'm going to say you probably need to pick her from an earlier time point. Starter make sense. I can't read the build data, though. Can't get into the box and the box is too small.
- Dinah - Another character with the issue that she's from a late enough point in the series that she needs a spoiler notice. She needs to come from an earlier point, I think. I also can't actually read the build reasoning for her. Her inventory has a flaw--a fine weapon is only 4000, so you have another 1k to sort out.
- Jack Skellington - I really like this idea. Way to think outside the box! His build is also pretty creative, and different from most of the other characters. You'll need a good picture of human jack, though. Otherwise, solid character.
- Wile E Coyote - Again, a really solid creative character choice! I like his starter theme, it's cute. His human form is also a nice picture, and I'd be curious to see how his build would develop.
- Harley Quinn - I'm really fond of this character, and I was really excited to see this submission. The starter is cute, the redesign is nice, and I understand the logic behind the build...but I'm also kind of disappointed in it. Harleen was a college student and psychologist, and you even point that out in your bio. She's more than just a jumpy trickster, but that's all her build really seems to hint at. I would have liked more of a reference to the aspects of Harley that aren't just her persona.
- Chrom - I appreciate the change in starter! The new one is pretty fitting, I think. His build choices are pretty fitting. Overall, a pretty solid character.
- Rikku - Not much I can say beyond that this is a pretty solid character. I like her goals, I like the use of al bhed, I like the starter.
- Faceless Old Woman - I love the concept, but I'm afraid this character falls a little...flat. She's interesting, don't get me wrong, and I love the source material, but a Hobbyistx5 character is very..bland.
- Ender Wiggins - I questioned if this breaks the spoiler rule, and I still am, honestly, but since I'm allowing Neville and the like from further in their series than the first book, it's still being debated. The fact that you seem to have drawn him from exactly at the end of the first book, rather than having started travelling and such from the second, does make me question, though. I like the character itself, though. Build is good, well rationalized even if I blinked at seeing tumbler. I like the starter reference.
- Chihiro - Another character who I question the spoiler test for. She's from beyond her movie, which was something I asked not to happen, and she doesn't have additional movies and such to really excuse it. Her build also seems alright, but most of it seems sourced to that post-movie setting. There's also an awful lot in terms of berries, particularly the same all useful berry. You might be pushing the amount you could have reasonably found in just three days.
- Terra - I like the elementalist choice, and survivalist makes perfect sense for me. Bit worried about rockblast from the starter, but the starter choice itself is logical. I appreciate the time period she was chosen from. Solid character.
- Neville Longbottom - I'm very fond of the elementalist choice in place of arcanist, as well as his botany development. His starter is a cute choice, and he's from a good time period. I do question his inventory--that's a /lot/ to have found in only three days in a new location, even for a botanist.
- Luna Lovegood - The fashionista choice is perfect! The fairy elementalist...weird, but I suppose it works, when I think about it. I wouldn't have guessed it, but I can see it. Same with the starter. Overall a pretty solid character.
- Edward Nigma - I like this character design, particularly his pull from a less villainous era that'll let him group up more. Pretty solid build, and the starter choice is cute!
- Isabelle - a cute, creative choice! Definitely would be interesting to see her take charge in the town building aspects of the game, but I do worry about her survival and ability until then. Still, she's an adorable, interesting character and I think the build is solid. I'm only shocked you named a starter Cookie without actually styling her after AC's Cookie who is also a dog. x3
Moderately Familiar Characters [Characters whom I'm somewhat familiar with, but would appreciate more pairs of eyes looking at details I might not catch or remember from their fandoms.]
- Waluigi - I honestly am just surprised there's enough info about this character /to have/ a personality and backstory of any kind. Definitely an interesting choice. Prova seems like a weird choice, but the refluff is something I understand.
- Sanji - I'm familiar with his earlier characterizations more than anything, so I'll have to make sure I catch up with him if he gets picked. Overall seems like a decent, reasonably solid character.
- Ganondorf - I'm not super familiar with his characterization, but I think I understand him well enough to say that this is a pretty decent portrayal, I think. I like the starter reasoning and characterization, and I think this is a pretty neat character overall.
- Gangrel - I've /played this game/ and yet I honestly can't remember this character at all. Too busy making babies, I think. x3 From what I can see, seems like a funny, solid character. I laughed, at least! No issues I can see mechanically or with his inventory or anything.
- Aqua - I don't recall this character the /best/, but from our discussions last night, I've been led to believe she might be from pretty far in her series? If that's true, she might need to be pulled back a bit. Otherwise, the build seems decent, I like the prism/tri choice to represent KH magic, etc.
- Ciper - Unown as a starter choice is interesting, but I can roll with it. I like the 'oracle to fuck with people' idea. Should I be worried about his ability to work in a group? Also, 14 oran berries is definitely not within the limits of 'could be reasonably found in 3 days', particularly with untrained survival >>
- Megaman - My helpers inform me that it's weird this character doesn't have any focus, and wish on an eevee seems a bit concerning. Three adept skills is still wrong at level 3 without a feature allowing it. You, again, put your name on the sheet despite being explicitly asked not to. Your inventory seems iffy. I'd also appreciate it if you'd use the more recent copies of the sheet.
Unfamiliar Characters
- Ravio - This seems like a really cute character! As written, I like the travelling merchant idea, and he seems fun, but I don't know much about him to comment on the build!
- "Ricewind" - I don't know enough about this character to comment on build, nor is the character's source mentioned! This sheet has the problem of poor english making me unable to accept it, as well. I've also been informed that the character's name is Rincewind, which is alarming on it's own, I'm afraid.
- Dust - Another character who I don't know very well to comment on build, but helpers have informed me (and the comment about 'completed' missions implies) that this character fails the spoiler test. His starter also nerfs all social skills to raise all combat skills, which is not something I'm okay with.
- Nobita Nobi - Reasoning isn't shared well. Don't know much about the character to comment on build. He seems like of...bland, for a PC.
- Tal Graile-Rerem - This character seems really interesting, for all that I don't know much about him. He's well thought out and justified from what I can see. A nice mage character.
- Maya Fey - I really like the fact that this character is drawn from before all of her spoilers would occurs! She seems like a pretty interesting and well thought out character. Is there a reason her inventory is so full of food? o.o
Overall comments! I probably missed a lot of things when I was reading through. If your application has the same issue that anothers is being called out for, assume that comment applies to you as well and I just didn't notice @_@ There were a /lot/ of characters. Newest issue I'm finding is a crazy amount of berries and herbs in people's inventory. You've been here for three days, and they aren't super incredibly common. I could see a high survival character justifying a significant amount, but 14+ berries is pushing the belief a bit, given that your character was also exploring, fearing for their lives, etc in this time! >>
Don't neglect to convert your final funds into scrap, as well, either [Build] or [Food]. Build is used for crafting and developing settlements and such, and food is eaten. Food is also pretty important, since you need to eat in this game, so don't neglect it!
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