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Post by DataNinja on Jul 4, 2021 19:33:39 GMT
He knows he can't lie here, even if he wanted to. It's the risk of baring one's soul... the raw, unfiltered truth can hurt more when you can't convince yourself otherwise.
"I... I don't think that I can give you all that you want, Bliss," he says, sighing, and tearing up. This is not an easy conversation. "I'm sorry. You are wonderful, and I'm so proud of who you've become... but it's a different feeling than the completeness that I feel with Em. ...I wish I could give all of you everything that you needed. You all deserve so much more."
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6,672 posts
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92 likes
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 4, 2021 19:55:06 GMT
"I know... I've always sort of known. You held me at length, even compared to the others. Too much for you... too aggressive... The only consolation I could ever give myself was knowing that you were the same sort of creature as Diva once. I'll always be weak for you Thel... I just wish I could make you happy the same way your Em does." Bliss worked a hand against her face. "I can't complain too much... you gave me the name Bliss... I at least made you feel good, at some point." There was a clear muddling of many different emotions, both good and bad. Bliss is trying to work her way through all of them at once.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 4, 2021 20:12:42 GMT
"You're not wrong that when we first met, I just... I didn't know what to do. Because I wasn't ever like Diva," he shakes his head. "I was just always bossed around by those like her. Being around you has taught me so much, though, in... trying to figure all of that out. You pushed me to adapt, to be a little less... quiet. I'm all the better for it, and it's all thanks to you."
"Oh, Bliss... you're too hard on yourself. There have been some rough patches, when I had no idea what to do... but not once have I ever considered my life worse for meeting you. Life is never perfectly smooth, so please don't ever hold yourself to that. You've made me happy, a lot. I just... I have others who are also important to me. I can't spend all my time just with any one individual. ...if there's anything I can do to make that time easier, though, please, let me know. I'm always happy to spend time with you, Bliss. It just... can't come at the expense of others. Like the others can't come at the expense of yours.
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6,672 posts
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92 likes
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 4, 2021 20:39:16 GMT
"I won't accept that answer Thel. I can't." Slowly, she folded her hands in her lap, sitting sideways across his. "You can't say she's different but equal. It isn't about having all of your time, it is about what is most important to you. Even if I can feel it isn't me... I need to hear you say it. Tell me she is what is most important to you." Bliss' breathing was shallow, tone firm despite how much he could feel it twisted her to demand such a thing. All things equal, she was the best. That is what Bliss had always believed.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 4, 2021 20:58:00 GMT
Thel wants to close his eyes, but he forces himself to meet Bliss' gaze. "You're right... Em is the person I would put first in the world. She just... she completes the gaps in my soul in a way that makes me feel like more than myself when I'm with her."
There's not really more than can be said on that front. It's the truth that Em is the most important thing to him. Saying anything more would just come off as hollow. Trying to justify it, or defend it, or anything is meaningless. Undoubtedly Bliss could have already seen it written on his soul.
His first conversation, and already he's hurting others. He's having some hints of regret about this, fearing that all he'll end up doing is causing deep pain...
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 6, 2021 20:26:24 GMT
"You have gotten a lot stronger... You never would have admitted that to me before.". Sadness, courage, love, hope, and uncertainty mingled just beneath Bliss' passive expression. "...I'm a part of your family, no matter what. If that means being second to someone, then I will make sure she excels as your friend, partner, and soulmate. She will be your first choice because she is better then me.". The Pokemon gives a determined nod.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 6, 2021 23:45:05 GMT
"You're right. I wouldn't have..." he agrees, contemplating that fact.
"And of course you are. You're all a part of my family. Life wouldn't be the same without any of you." He smiles at her. "I'm so proud of you."
"Though," he adds, "there's a difference between 'better' and 'better for you,' I feel. Everyone's different, after all..."
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 7, 2021 0:31:53 GMT
"No? The one who is best is best. There is no sometimes best. Only when it is raining best. On a Thursday best. Type advantage best. If I was the true pinnacle of all Pokemon, I would be best. You would love me more, but she has something I don't. So I will learn what that is, and I will help her be better in the ways she is weak.". Bliss folds her arms across her chest and stares up at Thel, heavily lidded eyes daring him to argue with her.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 7, 2021 0:40:16 GMT
Thel laughs, enjoying the non-nuanced view of the world. It's a reminder of simpler times, and he doesn't fault the Pokémon for it. "It may not be that for you. But, for instance... Serenity's best if I just need someone fluffy to cuddle. Or Hope is best for just sitting on my shoulder and providing support. Everyone has different things they're good and bad at, and that's not a bad thing. Sometimes you can't be both one thing and another - the things that I like about Hope and the things I like about Serenity are two completely different things. All you can do is try and be the best you you can be."
"But someone who wants to be constantly on the ocean, for instance, would probably not be a good fit for me, whereas for someone else who loves the water, they could be a perfect fit. There's not any one 'best', I feel."
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 7, 2021 0:55:41 GMT
"I can do those things but you've never tried them with me.". Bliss huffs indignantly. "How can you claim someone else is better when I never got a chance?" A pause, a flicker of curiosity tempered by her stance on the issue. "What am I best at then?"
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 7, 2021 1:07:44 GMT
"You aren't fluffy," Thel points out, "and you aren't small enough to fit on my shoulder."
"You're the best at fighting," he says. "The others, they can do it, but - barring Harmony, I suppose, I haven't gotten to know them enough yet - none of them live for that drive. They're all quieter, softer. Neither is a bad thing, but you're the one I know I can turn to when I need that push. That strive to get stronger. You're my fighter, Bliss, strong in body and in spirit."
"That's what you're best at, but it's not all you are, though. ...it has meant a lot a lot of nights just having you there, when things were going sour. When all seemed to be going wrong, and I wasn't sure if it would all be okay. It meant I had a protector there, someone I could cling to. It would be safe."
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6,672 posts
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92 likes
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 7, 2021 1:21:58 GMT
"...You don't like fighting. You don't want to do it, and when you don't have to anymore, I won't have a purpose anymore.". Bliss slid off of his lap, and moved to the edge of the car. She leaned on the railing and stared out over the city. "The trait you value me for is one you don't even like...". She visibly wilted.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 7, 2021 1:28:23 GMT
"Just because I don't like doing it," he says, getting up to join her, "doesn't mean I can't appreciate the joy it brings in someone else. I saw how it just lit you up fighting that shellfish. When everyone's having a good time, and wants to do it, it's... different. I don't like fighting because I don't like hurting others. But I could see then that there is a different type of fighting, too. One where both sides want to, to show their skill. That's... it's a good type of fighting. And I'm glad I got to share it with you."
"And the qualities that make you a good fighter," he adds, "they make you a good friend, too. Dependable, always working to improve, trying to bring out the best in others so that you have worthy people to compare yourself against."
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 8, 2021 4:32:22 GMT
Bliss turned towards him slowly but wouldn't look up into the boy's eyes. Her eyes were focused low and distant. It had clearly been a lot to take in at once. "Hold me. Nothing else matters if I can just have that." She was disquieted, uncomfortable, sad, but still found the clout to be commanding with her needs. With his arms around her, relief flooded her. The genuineness of his embrace meant more to her then the feelings he had shared, or the words he had used. Actions, and nothing else, sufficed. It was very true to her.
Bliss buried her face against him, and let herself be weak for the first time.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 8, 2021 4:43:03 GMT
"I'm sorry..." he whispers, holding her close. "I... I was being selfish. I wanted to be able to understand... but all I did was cause you pain. It was... understanding, without earning that understanding. Without truly connecting."
"I wanted you to understand that I cared. That I admire your strength, the courage that I wish I possessed even half as much of. Your steadfast protection of those you care for, in all aspects of life. So much more. But I didn't have the words. And I didn't understand that that wasn't what was needed. That that was still looking at things from my point of view." Tears quietly roll down his face. "I'm just... I... can you forgive me? I don't deserve this gift."
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 8, 2021 4:56:35 GMT
Bliss propped herself upright and pressed a tendril to the middle of his forehead. "Thel, you couldn't have known, and now you do. I never expected you to be perfect. From the minute I was... " Her cheeks colored, and she broke eye contact. "A chubby berry, free of confinement and being taught about food and the world... to pigtails and growing pains... to now. I just... I want this. I want as much this as I can have. Your other Pokemon need to be better for you. Em needs to be better for you. And now, I know I need to be better too. No, not better, different. You love me, and I love you too."
The Pokemon shook her head. "Don't lie on your back and ask for forgiveness. Square your shoulders, raise your chin, and be better... but... for what it's worth to you-" Bliss added in a gentler tone. "Yes, I'll forgive you."
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 8, 2021 5:15:43 GMT
"The day that we stop feeling that we can improve," Thel muses, "the day we consider ourselves perfect... I feel that is the day that we truly lose ourselves. For there is so much out there, that we could never know, we have to keep our minds open to always learn..."
He gives her a momentary tighter squeeze at her forgiveness. She's right, though. He has to be better. Actions, not words.
But for now, he can just enjoy this moment, as he truly does feel oneness with his friend. A sense of peace. Carrying Bliss back to the seat, he sits down once more next to N. He glances over at the other boy, flushing a little at all of his emotions over the last bit. But he gets the impression that there will be no forthcoming judgement or awkwardness. It's just... a feeling.
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6,672 posts
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 9, 2021 3:09:20 GMT
N Gently put a comforting arm around Thel's shoulders. "Growth is not a comfortable process. A lizard sheds its skin and itches. A crab molts and becomes larger, at the cost of being vulnerable for a time. Birds molt feathers, and lose their ability to fly. You are growing, moments of vulnerability, weakness, loss of agency... they will find you. Survive them, and your bonds, your love will only grow." The ferris wheel came to a stop at last.
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Post by DataNinja on Jul 9, 2021 3:16:10 GMT
"Without the bad," Thel says quietly, "you never truly understand what you have. You take it for granted. It's something we have to fight against consuming us, but which we have to accept will be part of life. Else we will never grow..."
"Thank you for this gift," he says, giving a smile at the other boy. "And... all of today, really. It was wonderful. So much I'd never known..."
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I'm not going to say it was damage, but it was damage.
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Post by Robot on Jul 9, 2021 4:14:04 GMT
"Someday, I would like us to have a day like this." He smiled, his hand covering Thel's, something heavy settling into his palm. And he wakes. Bliss is in his arms, the smell of fading incense on the air, Patience huddled against him. In his palm, was a small pendant, carved of stone, resembling a shell or perhaps a horn. It has a few protrusions, and is conical. A single red stone sits at the widest point of it.
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